


catch me (i'm starting to fall)

by demonicneonfishy



Series: february angst-fest (febuwhump 2021) [6]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani Needs a Hug, M/M, Post-Canon, as usual!, he gets one don't worry, i really don't know how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29248083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonicneonfishy/pseuds/demonicneonfishy
Summary: Joe flips to the most recent page in his sketchbook and hands it to Nicky. With a start, Nicky realises it’s Booker - standing on the beach in London, looking out at the water.“I can’t stop thinking about it,” Joe whispers. “About… about what he said in the lab.”
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: february angst-fest (febuwhump 2021) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141784
Comments: 2
Kudos: 101





	catch me (i'm starting to fall)

**Author's Note:**

> day 6 of febuwhump 2021  
> prompt: insomnia  
> (title from sudden death, tyler glenn)  
> -  
> this diverges slightly from the prompt but. oh well.

When Nicky wakes, Joe isn’t there. For a moment, he panics, but reassures himself that he would have woken, if there were danger.

Which means something else is wrong, because Joe is usually a heavy sleeper. If he’s awake now - when the moon is still high in the sky - that’s enough reason for Nicky to worry.

He gets out of bed and leaves their room. They’ve been in this safehouse for a few weeks now, long enough for Nicky to note where the creaky floorboards are. Now, he’s careful to step on as many as he can, so as not to startle Joe.

Joe is facing away from him, sitting on the couch hunched over something. As Nicky draws closer, he realises Joe is sketching, his movements almost frantic.

He reaches over to gently place his hand on Joe’s shoulder. Joe flinches with a small gasp, and then relaxes. After nine hundred years, they do not need to be touching all the time, but then again, there are some things that words are not enough to say.

“Did I wake you?” Joe asks. There’s a slight shake to his voice.

“No,” Nicky responds. “Are you okay?”

Joe’s silence is all the answer Nicky needs. He walks around the couch to sit down beside Joe, who leans into him almost immediately with a tired sigh, resting his head on Nicky’s shoulder.

Nicky doesn’t say anything at first. Joe will talk when he’s ready.

Joe flips to the most recent page in his sketchbook and hands it to Nicky. With a start, Nicky realises it’s Booker - standing on the beach in London, looking out at the water. 

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” Joe whispers. “About… about what he said in the lab.”

_ What would you know of the weight of all these years alone? You and Nicky always had each other, and all we had was our grief. _

“I just don’t understand,” Joe continues. “How he could do that to us. He would’ve let them hurt us, just because- because he-”

He lets out a choked sob, and Nicky holds him tighter.

“I thought we did everything we could when- when his son died, and after that. We  _ tried _ , I  _ tried _ to be there for him and I thought he knew that and- he was still so desperate- he was willing to let them  _ hurt us _ and I can’t help thinking that I should have seen this coming and I didn’t.”

“Breathe,” Nicky says softly. “Look at me, hayati. Please.”

Joe pulls back just enough to look up at Nicky, his eyes sparkling with tears, and Nicky moves his hand to cup the back of Joe’s neck. 

“This was  _ not _ your fault,” he says, gently and firmly at the same time. “You cannot be expected to see everything, especially if Booker does not show it. His actions were his own.”

Joe looks away. Nicky brushes away his tears. 

“I miss him,” he whispers. “And that’s almost worse, because I’m still angry with him and I never want to see him again but at the same time I miss him so much it hurts.”

“I know,” Nicky says. “I know.”

“And I can’t even sleep anymore because every time I try all I can see is the lab and then when Keane shot you and Andy…”

Joe takes a shaky breath, and Nicky’s heart aches. He leans forward to press their foreheads together and closes his eyes.

“Everything’s changing so quickly,” Joe says quietly. “I don’t know how to keep up.”

Nicky pulls back, opening his eyes to look at Joe. “I know it hurts, hayati. But we will survive this. I promise.”

Joe closes his eyes and nods.

“I love you more than I have the words to say,” Nicky tells him, and that gets Joe to smile.

“I love you too.”

And they stay there, just holding on to each other, until the sun rises.

**Author's Note:**

> this one's a little short but i'm happy with it so!  
> -  
> i'm demonicneonfishy on tumblr too if you wanna come say hi!! (or yell at me for the angst)


End file.
